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Joke of the Day

"How will the Duggar's stay on TV and make money? By moving the show to a ""true crime"" channel and calling it ""18 Victims and Counting""."

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"How a girl insults another Girl1: In my hand is your virginity. Girl2: But there's nothing on your hand! Girl1: Exactly."
"What is a horse's favorite condiment? MayoNEIGHS"
"What chord does a piano make when it drops on a child? ...A-flat minor"
"What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it be R, but his first true love always be the C."
"I heard Reddit likes puns so I posted ten of them thinking at least one would reach the first page No pun in ten did"
"What did the mathematician and the dentist talk about? Calculus"
"[at the pet store] Me: I'd like a baby lizard please [later at home] Me: isn't he cute? Wife [heavily pregnant]: I said a baby monitor"
"What do you call a turtle with an erection? A slow poke!"
"What's the definition of relative humidity? Sweat on your balls when you're doing your sister."