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Joke of the Day

"""Russel Brand reports he keeps being told he needs to shake up his image"" or, as people have been phrasing it 'Rustle brand'."

Next Joke
 
"[Japan] HEAD SCIENTIST: Hey, what did you guys do with all the nuclear waste? *distant Godzilla noises*"
"Son, we don't play Hungry Hungry Hippos for ""fun."" We play it to learn how friends turn on each other in moments of desperation and scarcity"
"If I was a sick professor giving a lecture... Ibuprofen"
"[engineer looking at blueprints] ""Well, here's your problem right here. You built this thing on rock and roll."""
"Excuse me waiter, I didn't ask for dessert. I asked for DESERT. Now get me a bowl of sand and a baby camel."
"What do successful businessmen and aids patients have in common They both take risks and get positive results"
"I combined two hit games and made ""Angry Words With Friends"" where I just scream obsenities at people while throwing dead birds at them."
"*turns on internet* computor, i need to take a break from trying to achieve one thing. show me all of the achievments of others all at once"
"Tried to slide a cup towards me across the table. The cup fell over instead. I blame friction."