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Joke of the Day

"*turns on internet* computor, i need to take a break from trying to achieve one thing. show me all of the achievments of others all at once"

"Feed your kids soup for dinner, so you can sit at the table for 47 minutes and listening to slurping."

"Why do farmers put bells on cows? Because their horns dont work!"

"Just because a lot of guys want you doesn't mean you're wifey material. Just know, cheap items have many buyers. @MaleHonesty86"

"I was walking down the street when I saw a black man carrying a tv... I could've swore it was mine, but then I remembered mine was at the house polishing my shoes."

"2 Mexicans and a white man are in a car, who's driving? The police officer"

"BEN AFFLECK: I'm directing a new movie and I was thinking about you for the lead role BEN AFFLECK: Well I'm obviously very flattered"

"What i if told you You that read wrong And that probably too"

"Kid Rock now endorses Donald Trump ""#Make America Up Jump the Boogie Again!!"""

"Why did the Gorilla enlist in the ragged continental army? To avoid the draft!"