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Joke of the Day

"I went to a military history exhibit at a museum in Little Italy. I saw a cool old German submarine. I walked up to a guy and said, ""Hey, is that a U-boat?"" He said, ""No, it's-a the museum's!"""

"wife: Why didn't you talk to me about renting a bouncy house?! me [stops jumping]: You would have said no"

"Q: What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit? A: Curly hare."

"Why can't you lift weights on Monday? It's a week day."

"I like my ex's like I like my coffee... Ground up and in the freezer"

"Y'know, I don't understand all the fuss about using 3D printers to make guns. I've had a Canon printer for years!"

"How is having sex with a woman and eating at KFC similar? After you're done with the juicy breasts and the tender thighs, all there's left to do is to throw the bone in the greasy box."

"Women - What is the similarity between women and garbagebags? - You fill them up and toss them out the door!"

"What do you call an action of copyright law against a ghost? An exor-*cease and desist*."

"A man was recently arrested For having sex with a van. You can say he's... vansexual."