102929

Joke of the Day

"*brain waking up* oh god please not again I can't keep existing in this reality *brain 20 minutes later* 1000000 chameleons is a chamillion"

"I knew I could convince my wife to get an Abortion... All she needed was a shove in the right direction... and a set of stairs."

"What do Fall Out Boy say after titty-fucking their girlfriends? THANKS FOR THE MAMMARIES!"

"What are the two biggest lies a man will ever tell? 1. The check is in the mail 2. I promise I won't cum in your mouth."

"Once saw a bunch of Nazis saluting in icy precipitation. It was quite the heil storm."

"If anyone can remember the jokes from Popsicle sticks, I'll be exposed for the fraud I am"

"The transformation of Facebook into MySpace is almost complete."

"What do you call a Russian tree ? Dimitree"

"Coining a new term. I hereby decree that from henceforth all comparisons made between two things for comedy shall be known as... ***a yuxtoposition.***"

"Why couldn't the monk who flew a helicopter understand the monk who flew commercial jets? Because he was on a higher plane."