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Joke of the Day

"Me: Will you- Hubs: No Me: Can you- Hubs: Nope Me: Are you- Hubs: Oh no Me: Sex? Hubs: Yes Me: Oh hell no..... Communication is important."

"The only time I hate being single is when I knock something over & catch it before it hits the ground but there's no one around to see it."

"I've always liked prostitutes... Personally, I feel like they give me the most bang for the buck."

"Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!"

"A guy just yelled at me for texting and driving. I told him to get off my hood and mind his own business."

"What do you call a black brick with three holes in it? A polish bowling ball."

"Doctor Doctor I've broke my arm in two places Well don't go back there again then!"

"You brought me roses? I can't eat this. Get out."

"How can you tell if an elephant has been in the fridge? There are footprints in the butter"

"I went for a run and got back two minutes later because I forgot something, I forgot I'm fat and can't run for more than two minutes."