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Joke of the Day

"Cop: You already had your phonecall now state your name for the tape or you're going to jail Ivana Fonekaal: [looks at lawyer]"

"Saw a phone booth. Hopped in. Came out. Didn't become Superman. Now it just looks like I was hiding while that lady was getting mugged."

"Isis Isis Babe."

"Why do black people only ever have nightmares? Because the last one to have a dream got shot."

"Presidential election season; that special time every four years when we find out who we just really shouldn't be friends with anymore."

"my car's fuel economy is not doing so good... as a matter of fact, it's tanking"

"What drink do you have on Halloween? Mali-BOO"

"What one food is known to decrease sex drive in women more than any other? Wedding cake."

"Saying 'Do you want to kiss me as much as I want to kiss you?' only works in the movies and not with strangers at Sports Authority"

"If it looks like I'm typing for five minutes I'm really just trying to spell diarrhea."