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Joke of the Day
"What's the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits a car's windshield? Its butt!"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Kurt Cobain? Hitler had a reason to kill himself."
"Most women have a love hate relationship with their scale, but I'm convinced mine goes out of her way to piss me off."
"I wish someone would leave a horse's head in my bed so that when my kids sneak up on me in the morning, I can be like, BAM, horse's head."
"I like when Google answers my stupid questions because it means I'm not the only one asking Google stupid questions."
"My wife told me I'm not allowed to impersonate a flamingo anymore... I had to put my foot down"
"My daughter labeled me BIRTH GIVER in her phone. I'm thinking about labeling her THANKS FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY BODY."
"Maybe if I took my problems to the gym they'd work themselves out."
"Why do rednecks hate math? Integration."
"No matter how much you push an envelope It will always be stationary"