102693

Joke of the Day

"Deeper deeper if we're having sex don't tell me ""deeper deeper"". if I could go deeper I would. you don't see me saying ""tighter""."

"Why can't New Zealanders tell you how many sexual partners they've had? Every time they start to count, they fall asleep."

"When someone loves you a lot they will buy you a burrito even when you're not hungry so you can get fat and no one else will love you."

"If your phone rings during a movie, answer it ""Yes, Mr. President. Right away, sir!"" And then run head first through the screen."

"We really need to silence the Muslim jokes I'm talking to the guys in particular, since the Women are already silent."

"[Joke Request] A great mother's day joke I can write on a card, give to my mom, and take credit for Example: What did the mama buffalo say to her son when he left for college? ""Bison"""

"Why is Microsoft skipping Windows 9? Because Windows 7 8 9"

"What does PETA stand for? People Eating Tasty Animals"

"Due to a mix up my cat ended up in a beauty contest and not at the vet. To my surprise she apparently won some gimmick trophy for fluffiest butt. It was a real *catastrophe.*"

"I like to call my dick Metapod.... Cuz all it does is harden"