10262

Joke of the Day

"My brief gig as a lounge singer ended when I asked 4 requests & realized I didn't know the song ""Get Off the Stage or Die."" Elvis, maybe?"

"What's long and hard when you first put in in your mouth, but soft and wrinkly when you take it out? A piece of gum, you pervert!"

"What do you call a sober Irishman? A liar."

"Our laundry room flooded because an apple chunk clogged the washer hose. Go ahead, have kids. They have pocket apples."

"Being single is like a vacuum cleaner: its sucks when you're turned on"

"Whats about 9 inches and makes a woman scream? Cot death."

"My girlfriend is like -100. She's a 10 but she is also imaginary"

"Make like my dick... and fuck your mother."

"A surgeon accidentally removed a women cancerless breast.... Sounds like it was a mastec-to-my"

"I just finished reading a book about preventing skin injuries and burns... The author classified the book as ""non-friction"""