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Joke of the Day

"OK THERE. DID I PASS YOUR STUPID SOBRIETY TEST YET? Cop: Sir, you're still laying on the ground where you fell down."

"If Isaac Newton discovered gravity Why isn't he in the credits? (Crossposted from /r/shittyaskscience)"

"Did Timmy enjoy his first fried eggs? No, because he sat naked on a steel poll in 113 degrees"

"Old people smell weird because They are surrounded by hundreds upon thousands of skin cells that have fallen off of their bodies over the years. Dead... Like all of their friends..."

"Definition of embarassment The definition of embarassment is when you walk into a wall with a full erection and hit your nose first"

"What did the cannibal get when he was late to dinner? The cold shoulder"

"I'm in love with you and you don't want anything to do with me so I think we can make this work"

"I came here to tell a Mexican joke But that could be crossing a line."

"I figured something was fishy with my doctor when he was giving me a rectal exam, but he had both hands on my shoulders."

"Marriage. Because your shitty day doesn't have to end at work."