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Joke of the Day
"Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear."
Next Joke
"If I ever wanted to kill myself... climbing up your ego and jumping down to your IQ level would get the job done."
"Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because when he asked the chicken ""Who's the best composer"" the chicken said ""Bach, Bach, Bach"""
"Contrary to popular belief, you actually CAN drink lava But only once"
"How do you know if a hippo is in your oven? The door won't close"
"Now I'm not saying I'm a good businessman... But I spent $534 million less than Hillary Clinton to not become president."
"Sorry girls, I'm no Bruno Mars, I won't catch a grenade for you. In fact, if such situation ever happened, I'd use you as a human shield."
"How much did the Cubs pay the devil to win the World Series? 2016."
"Whats the worst part about a threesome? Watching your parents fuck"
"A baby seal walks into a club. ...while two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bah-dum-tsssssss."