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Joke of the Day

"""I'm so glad that pasting that text included the format of the original document!"" -- No one. Ever."

"I bet Egyptians were all like ""Yo, nobody in history will ever worship and revere cats like we do"" and then came the internet."

"Doctor Doctor with all the excitement of Christmas I can't sleep. Try lying on the edge of your bed...you'll soon drop off!"

"After taking a massive dump, a cockroach in toilet bowl startled me so badly I forgot to flush. I was scared shitless..."

"Latvian man goes to buy iPhone.. Premise ridiculous! iPhone cannot be use to farm potato. Also, salesman die of malnourish."

"The clinic asked me why I had written an incorrect blood type on my form I told them it was Typo"

"No need for instructions when building something, just put it together all wrong & then read them later after taking it apart to start over."

"Someday I'd love to treat my wife to some luxury items, like a BMW, a Louis Vuitton bag, or genuine HP ink cartridges."

"Did you hear about the stupid turkey? It was looking forward to Christmas!"

"My horoscope read ""You're going places and you can't be stopped."" Apparently the cop who gave me a ticket hadn't read it."