102586

Joke of the Day

"I went out for dinner tonight... ...and they tried to charge me for salt and pepper! I thought it was condimentary."

"I thought my roommate was joking when he said Gary Oldman was in the Harry Potter movies. He was dead Sirius."

"When it comes down to it, the most important thing you can do everyday is not die."

"""What's green and eats nuts?"" ""Syphilis!"""

"Funniest Joke Ever... What do you call a crazy introvert?..............A walnut. *crickets* Thank you, thank you."

"Confucius say 7 days of honeymoon make one whole week."

"whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust"

"Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner."

"I've just started an online dating site for Siamese twins. It's called Connect 4."

"Britain just left the EU! But they'll be alright... After all, you always lose a few pounds after a break up."