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Joke of the Day

"There are only two types of guys that don't masturbate Those with no hands and those with no dick"

"Why did the gay guy cross the road? Because he is gay and the people on the other side of the road hate him and asked him to leave."

"Friday. My second favorite F word."

"Why should you never fight a dinosaur? You'll get jurasskicked!"

"A Florida boy was born with no eyelids... The doctors decided to make him some eyelids using his foreskin. He's a little cock-eyed now, but he'll be fine."

"Why is the Computer D Drive always sad? D:"

"A bank robber took a mop and a bucket of soapy water to a job. He cleaned up."

"What they dont tell you, is that your sheets are actually made of Egyptians and Cotton."

"13: Mom, you look younger every day. M: What do you want? 13: A new skateboard. M: How young? 13: 29 M: Done."

"Husband: Have you lost weight? Me: About 10 lbs H: Who you trying to look good for? *wink M: You don't know him. He's on Twitter..."