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Joke of the Day

"Bartender asks a returning guest... You come in everyday for the past 10 years paying for the same drink with 4 quarters. Why? The guest responds with, ""I don't like change!"""

"What do you call a little Lannister when winter finally comes? Peter Shrinklage"

"I will not rest until I've finished this nap!"

"What gets louder if you enter it from one end, but quieter if you enter it from the other? A howler monkey."

"A little boy came running into the kitchen. ""Dad dad"" he said ""there's a monster at the door with a really ugly face."" ""Tell him you've already got one"" said his father."

"""Check engine"" Yep, it's still there."

"What do you get if you cross a gardener with a banker? A box hedge fund!"

"My sister's got hay fever, and now she has diabetes. I tried to cheer her up. You know, the usual. Flowers, chocolates"

"The weirdest thing just happened. I had Cancer, then 15 people on Facebook were brave enough to change their statuses, & now I'm cured."

"So... I hear Bono's door fell off his plane yesterday... I guess he doesn't like unexpected things happening to HIS property without his knowledge, either."