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Joke of the Day

"Autocorrect changed ""baby rattle"" to ""baby battle"" and now I'm googling where to buy tiny weapons."

"A family walk into a hotel, the father walks up to the counter and says ""I hope the porn is disabled"" The clerk replies "" its just regular porn you sick fuck!"""

"You're momma so fat... When she watches sports she roots for half off Papa John's."

"If this doughnut and chocolate milk are going to take years off my life, could I have them remove 1978-1982?"

"A man overdosed on Viagra... ...His wife took it hard."

"Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they can spend years at C!"

"The length of my penis was in the Guinness Book Of World Records Untill the librarian told me to take it out"

"In Hinduism, cows are sacred, are to be revered and certainly should not be eaten. However, the Christians eat Jesus' corpse."

"When a woman suddenly shuts up, a man can hear the theme from Psycho discreetly playing in the background."

"I don't get how Bono is such a great philanthropist... I mean, isn't it a little selfish of him to do everything ""pro bono""?"