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Joke of the Day

"Hillary's doctor tells her she has the heart of a 20 year old And now he wants her to give it back to whoever she carved it out of their chest."

"What's the difference between two dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke."

"Do you know the difference between lunch and a blowjob? You don't??? We should have lunch sometime!"

"What is Father Christmas's tax status? Elf-employed."

"What if Rob Lowe robbed Lowes? Just imagine the crazy headlines. They'd probably say something like... ""Rob Lowe Robs Lowes"""

"Police: THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN YOUR DOOR NOW!!!!!! Me: Not with that attitude."

"What's squawky, worn out, and falls from foot easily? An old shoe... ...and Ronda Rousey"

"Why did the dung beetle go to rehab? He was rolling balls."

"I love when I leave work early to surprise my wife at home and she greets me with those three very special words... ""Were you fired?"""

"Two potatoes on a street corner There are two potatoes on a street corner. How can you tell which one is the prostitute? It's the one with the little sticker on it that says I-da-ho!"