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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a gay Mexican? a spigot."

"Want to piss off a female archeologist? Show her a used tampon and ask what period it's from. Wakka wakka!"

"Wish there was a pill I could put in a girl's drink, that would make her do my taxes."

"What is reddits least favorite dish? Kung Pao Chicken"

"I call McDonald's to make a reservation for Valentine's Day, just to listen to the stammering and confusion from the kid answering the phone"

"Martin Shkreli has been arrested. Bail will be set, then quickly raised to an amount he can't possible afford."

"A guy called into work and says, ""Hey, boss! What's the difference between work and your daughter?"" ""I'm not coming into work this morning!"""

"A few years back dos Equis asked me to be the spokesperson for their beer. I told them I wasn't interested."

"I trust J.D. Power, but not his shifty ""Associates"""

"Seeing as it's almost time for New Years Celebrations for myself Tonight I am an exorcist, as I shall be ridding the house of all Spirits."