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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a promiscuous egg? Humped-me Dumped-me"

"What do you call a horny asian woman? Actually, I'm not going to finish that. It's a slippery slope."

"Wife: I told you to slow down. Cop: License & registration, please. Wife (opens glovebox): Divorce papers? Me: Look underneath them."

"What's ET short for? Because he's got little legs."

"With his campaign struggling, Ben Carson seeks to appeal more to a mainstream and humanize himself with a new campaign slogan... Once you go black, you never go back. Carson 2016"

"I sexually identify as a Canadian... I'm eh-sexual."

"Driving high versus driving drunk: Drunks run stop signs. Stoners stop and wait for them to turn green."

"Why couldn't the lizard have any children? It had a reptile dysfunction!"

"How do you get a fire started? You burn some fagots Look up the definition before commenting/down voting..."

"How to get laid: Step 1: Be an egg Step 2: That's literally it"