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Joke of the Day

"Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken."

"*cop approaches me* ""have u seen this girl?"" *holds up photo* ""yeah I've seen her, NAKED"" *hi-5* ""haha but seriously shes in my trunk"""

"Folks are worried about global warming and social security, when the real crisis is that one day elderly drivers will know how to text."

"2 Redditors walk into a bar... Which is funny because you'd think the 2nd guy would have seen the 1st one do it!"

"People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. The confusion of this world is that people are used and things are loved."

"How do you get an Asian to crash their car? Make the windshield full screen"

"The jerk store called. Turns out they were just worried about me; hadn't seen me in a while. It was nice."

"So most foot longs at Subway are 7$ not 5$. I'm not mad that it's more money. I'm just mad that I sing their tunes of false advertisement"

"How do you fit an elephant into a subway? Take the ""S"" out of sub and the ""F"" out of way."

"why netflix and chill? Because amazon and chill has 1 day delivery."