102014

Joke of the Day

"""What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?"" Officer, ""Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."""

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"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but no one knows how they got in there."
"The comeback, 'Get on my level' 'Get on my level' Reply: 'Okay dude, ill go downwards'"
"How many ears does Spock have? Three, a left ear, right ear, and a Final Frontier."
"What's the difference between a Blues musician and a Jazz musician? A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands. A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3"
"I'm 5'3. I may be short but I have a HUGE personality....disorder."
"One day a wife complained ""This wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch."" The husband grunted and replied ""The darn clock always was slow."""
"Ramadan Putting the slim in Muslim."
"just got my deaf friend drunk and he's slurring fingers so bad right now"
"Life is like a box of condoms... I haven't done anything with mine yet."
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