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Joke of the Day
"Life is like a box of condoms... I haven't done anything with mine yet."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline."
"What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire."
"Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? Mmm- Fuck."
"Sorry I asked if your grandparents were part of the Halloween display at your house."
"Book, you look so much thinner! I know! I had my appendix removed!"
"My kid sat on the floor of a public restroom, so I had to throw him away and now I have to make a new one. Parenting is hard, you guys."
"What do you call a funny pancake? a puncake"
"Spent the day dressed as a bee, gently bumping myself against my neighbor's sliding-glass door. Got the hose twice."
"You can lead a horse to water and if he walks on it congratulations you found horse jesus."