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Joke of the Day

"Damn boy, are you my yoga class? Because I want to get hot and sweaty with you in 37 different poses and then not be able to walk tomorrow."

"What did Optimus Prime say to Arcee? Have you ever blown a Transformer?"

"What do you say when Kanye West does something that annoys you? Kanye not."

"The first time I stayed at my girlfriends' house, her dad wouldn't let us sleep together. Shame, he's very attractive."

"I hate how survivors leave the zombies they kill wherever they fall. I'm not sentimental. I'm just sick of tripping over them."

"What does the average drummer get on an IQ test? Drool."

"A morning text from me doesn't mean ""good morning"". It means ""I'm having very dirty thoughts about you right now""."

"Just a simple solution. Obviously North Korea made a mistake, although we should forgive and forget. Who knows... Maybe Japan hacked Sony? Yeah... Lets blame Sony."

"2001 A Space Odyssey 2 The spaceship returns HAL is just as uncooperative as ever. He never works. He becomes the basis for Windows 10."

"Unemployed teachers ..... Have no class"