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Joke of the Day
"What's the best way to get a Jewish girls number? Roll up her sleeve."
Next Joke
"My car is equipped with the best anti-theft device in Florida. I call it ""No air conditioning""."
"You made an imprint on my heart like a big butt on a memory foam mattress."
"What does disappointment feel like? [deleted]"
"Me to 6 year old trick or treater dressed as a witch: ""I wish you'd cackle less"" Her: Give me a snickers you old piece of shit"
"What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack* ""damn"" and a skydiver goes ""damn"" *whack*"
"""I'll sleep when I'm Ned!"" -Exhausted pre-op who plans to go by Ned after the surgery"
"Every Liam Neeson movie now is just him talking on the phone then killing people, right?"
"The iPhone SE just came out Finally a phone that Donald Trump can use."
"how are bi planes different from regular planes? a lot of them have a wide open cockpit."