101784

Joke of the Day

"Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair? Cause if you dragged them by the feet, they'd fill up with dirt."

"Sometimes I'll go to a grocery store and rotate all of the Tide detergents 90 degrees and yell ""THE TIDES HAVE TURNED!"" until I'm kicked out"

"Knock knock Who's There? Adjust. Adjust who? Adjust lost the game."

"After I drink coffee I show my empty mug to the IT guy and tell him I've successfully installed Java. He hates me."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? A boy scout comes home from camp"

"Relationships are a lot like algebra.. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?"

"Why did the werewolf become a proctologist? He only has to work on full moons"

"Did you hear the one.... Did you hear the one about the dad who told his son if you masterbate too much you'll go blind. The son looks at his dad and says, ""Dad I'm over here!"""

"And Jesus said unto John ""Come forth and receive eternal life"". But John came fifth, and won a toaster."

"If the fate of the world ever depended on me opening a new plastic grocery or produce bag in under a minute, we'd all be dead."