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Joke of the Day

"So there's this guy that yawns a lot........ YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNN"

"Describing a female colleague to your GF, saying ""you know, the hot blond"" is conducive to sofa sleeping."

"What's the difference between a dog barking at the front door and a woman screaming at the back door? If you let the dog in, it will shut up."

"how can you tell..... how can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat? when she sits on your face you can no longer hear the background music"

"I once saw a theatrical performance about puns... It was a play on words."

"The British Pound? You mean the British Ounce."

"I'm so glad I married a big strong program like WinRAR He can open all of my .jars!"

"The 30-second elevator ride without cell service or Wi-Fi is by far the most terrifying part of my day."

"I can't cook. My strategy for operating the oven is basically the same as my strategy for sex I do my best to turn it on, then I stick my stuff in and hope for the best."

"My dad got fired from Cal Trans for stealing... We couldn't believe it. But when we got home, we saw all of the signs."