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Joke of the Day

"Why should you never watch a video with a Chihuahua? It always plays with the ""paws"" button on the VCR."

"Few things more demoralizing than saying ""excuse me"" to a mannequin."

"What do you call a Spaniard kissing a door? A Conquistador!"

"Me: *slowly unzips footed jammies* Him: Heyyy...you uh...wanna fool around? Me: What? No, I just lost an M&M in my onesie"

"Man A: Would you suck my cock if I cleaned it? Man B: No.. Man A: You dirty cocksucker!!!"

"He who farts in church Sits in his own pew"

"Sperm can live inside a woman for like 2 weeks. Nine months if things go really wrong."

"New sexual position: The Canada. You climb on top and don't do much."

"Skipped the gym today to go to McDonald's. The bus did not come back, so I had to walk 2 miles home. Well played, universe."