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Joke of the Day

"Lots of world leaders coming to DC. I hope Obama's Nuclear Summit goes well. Bush's Nucular Monster Truck Rally is a hard act to follow."

"What is a runner's favourite subject in school ? Jog-raphy !"

"How many toes does Trump have on the outside of his body? 5. The rest are constantly in his mouth."

"I think my cats hate people as much as I do. Every time the doorbell rings, they hide under the bed with me."

"That new vet really screwed up my pig's colonoscopy He's pretty ham-fisted"

"I like my girlfriend's new glow-in-the-dark braces... ...her smile really lights up the room now."

"A Photon checks in at an airline front counter. Agent says... Sir, do you have any checked baggage?' Photon replies, 'No, I'm travelling light.'"

"why are we mad at Beyonce for cultural appropriation when we could be mad that she made us listen to a Coldplay song?"

"Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock? So he could wake up inside."

"So this bloke said to me... He said "" I once got my dog to bring back a stick thrown 100 miles away"". I said ""that's a bit far-fetched"""