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Joke of the Day

"Forgive me father for I have sinned, last week I hissed at 47 people because I like to pretend I'm a mean cat"

"Just saw that I have one unheard message and I didn't even see my phone ring. I hope it's not: a) Work related b) Mel Gibson"

"Have you ever been hit repeatedly by a wave? It hertz a lot"

"What do you call a parent named Lee? Apparently"

"What kind of file makes a hole bigger?? A Pedophile"

"Whats the difference? Whats the difference between mash potatoes and pea soup?... Anyone can mash potatoes..."

"my wife finally agreed to a threesome, on the condition that she picks the girl i replied ""nah, honey, i'm gonna pick both of them"""

"What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A pit bull."

"Someone told me Trump is in bed with Russia. And that someone is Putin it in."

"Yo mama's so fat... When she picked up a toddler the zoo keepers shot her."