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Joke of the Day

"*Police bust through door* -QUICK FLUSH ALL THE SUGAR -WAIT, WHY!? -I DON'T KNOW, THEY DO IT IN THE MOVIES!"

"Everybody has been telling me to stop singing wonderwall... I said maybe"

"I think my photographer friend is secretly in the Air Force. He keeps asking if he can use a drone to take aerial shots at my wedding."

"How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh? Ten Tickles"

"Person who fought in WWII hit with pepper spray... Now he is a seasoned veteran."

"My doctor told me, ""If you don't quit smoking, it doesn't really matter how poorly you eat"" and that was the best day of my life."

"I drop it like it's an expensive electronic device I've recently purchased."

"When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train."

"What's the similarity between Bruce Jenner and a Pharaoh? At some point they turned into Mummys"

"Hoping to get a 4k tv after Christmas. Making my new years resolution 3840 x 2160."