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Joke of the Day

"What did the 11 year old junior paleontologist and 50-cent music lover with cancer receive from the one wish foundation? A Rap Tour"

"Sober me will always have your back.Drunk me will convince you to get a tattoo of a unicorn doing a dolphin over a rainbow on your back."

"My wife's cock crazy... Two licks then she goes nuts."

"Why doesn't Muad'Dib like the Spice Girls? They remind him too much of his mother. I'll see myself out."

"What's the definition of a will? Come on, it's a dead giveaway!"

"So a woman is driving down the road..... ....... Forgot women can't drive."

"TIL: In 1949, the French police spent 3 months investigating DiVince's Mona Lisa in connection to a murder. Apparently she was framed."

"Don't look at the address bar goddamnit ...So they did. (I'll bet you're curious what the actual title is. Wait til April 2nd to find out!)"

"[date] W: I'm really into astronomy. M: Oh! What's your sign? W: The one that knows the difference between science & superstitious idiocy."

"Why do black people hate chainsaws Because when you start them they go run nigga nigga nigga"