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Joke of the Day

"Obama is in a sinking ship. Who gets saved? America"

"What do you call a retarded five year old chained to a slab with his asshole lubed up? ""Daddy."""

"For the first time I am going to be visiting Britain this summer, but when I got there... Britain had already left."

"How did the woman feel when she got run over by a car? Tired."

"yo mamma so fat she sat on her ipod and made it an ipad"

"Guy discovers Terrorist Hideout.. Reporter: So how did you catch 'em? Guy: Umm.. I just found this Charizard then..."

"I may be 26, but I have the body of a 16 year old. Her parents are very upset. As are the police."

"I always appreciate a good pun, but never geographical ones There's Norway I'd sink Oslo as that"

"What do you call it when a hooker farts? A prosti-toot"

"The guy at the gym said rest days are really important, so I've been resting for 6 years."