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Joke of the Day

"A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. ""Which side is it best to lie on?"" she asked. ""The side that pays your fee"" replied the doctor."

"What is the internal temperature of a tauntaun? Luke warm."

"Safe to say a good 38% of my life is spent trying to sleep while the 18yr old stomps through the house like an angry triceratops."

"I'm not saying she's a slut, but if she had as many dicks sticking out of her as she did in her, She'd be a porcupine!"

"How do Emo kids reward themselves? Gold Scars. I'll see myself out."

"A man walks into his therapist's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap.. so the therapist takes one look at the man and says, ""Well, I can clearly see your nuts."""

"Say ""Rise Up Lights"" out loud You just said ""Razor Blades"" in an Australian accent"

"Exit signs. They are on their way out."

"Donald Trump is the president elect of the United States. I am still not sure if it belongs here or in r/politics (?)"

"All these Marvel movies, and they sure are taking their time getting to Thanos and the Infinity Gauntlet Don't worry. They'll get there... Avengually."