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Joke of the Day

"Your fancy frankenstein cross-breed vanity dog can't breathe you obnoxious cock"

"Once I got my art degree I didn't need to deliver to people anymore. Now they come to me, explaining what they want me to create. Then I ask them to pull up to the next window."

"why was the mother buying christmas gifts for her son in august? because presents are less expensive than chemo.."

"I want to start my own ice cream brand and call it ""Lick Me Till"". Lick me till ice cream..."

"""The bad news is that you've had a stroke. The good news is that IKEA has hired you to name all their new products!"""

"What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch? I ate so many chickpeas, now I falafel."

"How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? More guns."

"What's the difference between the Leafs and a Pornstar? They both get fucked. They both get paid. But only one of them really enjoys it."

"Why do Norwegians drive Chevys? They're afraid of drowning in a Fjord."

"Teacher: Johnny, use the words 'defeat"", ""deduct"" and ""detail"" in a sentence. Johnny: Yes ma'am. ""Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail."""