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Joke of the Day

"Police just knocked on my door and said my dog is chasing a kid on his bike. What a liar, my dog doesn't even have a bike."

"How many Surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? *fish*"

"Just took an acting class.... Now I'm qualified to be a soccer player"

"My neighbor just just had a baby boy born with no eyelids. When they did the circumcision they used the skin to make him some eyelids. He's doing great, just a little cockeyed."

"For me sex is like a game singleplayer"

"The founder of the Hokie Pokie died the other day His funeral was a fiasco. First they tried to put his right foot in..."

"A son goes to his parents and says ""Mom, Dad... I'm gay."" The Dad immediately responds. ""HI GAY, I'M DAD."""

"Why did Oscar Pistorius shoot his girlfriend in the bathroom? Because he's one of the few people in World that couldn't kick down the door."

"What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was *actually* Jesus? ""This is my body, I'm nice with jam."""

"""Grandma, may i play with your tits?"" ""Sure, honey! Just don't run away too far!"""