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Joke of the Day

"How does someone with amnesia tell a joke? I don't remember."

"Did you hear that the CEO of Under Armour got in trouble with police recently? He was caught KEVIN, PLANKING, in a restricted area!"

"Sean Connery walks into a bar. He says ""I'd like a single shot."" The bartender says ""That's a good idea because if you had the chickenpox, the virus is already in you."""

"4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths."

"When I'm happy, I drink and when I drink, I'm happy. Win/win!!"

"I almost choken on food and the whole time it was happening I was just thinking ""What a cliche way for a fat person to die of"""

"How do you get 100 babies into a bucket... With a blender How do you get them out again? With tortilla chips"

"The human liver can withstand up to 97% damage and make a full recovery. Yet not one doctor will accept this as an argument for alcoholism."

"Why is twelve an unfair number? Because it's two against one"

"My fish can breakdance. But only for five seconds, and only once."