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Joke of the Day

"The man who fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered."

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"My goal in life is to be as chill as Forrest Whitaker's left eye"
"Vanna White's birthday is today... Pretty soon she'll be getting to the age where she has trouble with her vowel movements."
"What's the difference between a lesbian and a vacuum cleaner? One is great with a carpet, the other one sucks my dick."
"I always sleep with a bed under my pillow, just in case"
"What's the definition of a Russian elevator? A Chechen presses a button and five floors come down."
"Why did the thieves get caught after robbing the Louvre? Cause they didn't have the Monet to get Degas to make the van Gogh."
"What do you call a black woman with 8 abortions? A crime fighter."
"Ghost hunters use special cameras made specifically for taking soulfies."
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