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Joke of the Day

"I've consumed three coffees plus two energy drinks with black carrot and what I'm trying to say is there won't be commas in my tweets today."

"Did you guys hear about the fight in the bathroom? Two bums got wiped"

"Boy are people gonna be upset when they find out the God Particle is black..."

"I like to yell ""Aloha, Captain Future!"" when I see someone using an iPad in public."

"If a lesbian couple walks into a bar and the black bartender refuses to serve them, whose fault is it? A white male. Duh."

"Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher!"

"It's crazy people freak out about ghosts but are totally fine with actual, horrible human beings."

"Why do SJWs like cancer? Because it doesn't discriminate."

"Don't you just hate it when ... You can't understand what your girl is trying to say? Take a step back and what's she's trying to say will become a lot clearer"

"Outkast: Ok now ladies! Me: Yeah??! OK: I wanna see y'all on your baddest behavior! Me: *slowly incurs $18.37 in overdue library fees*"