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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a painting and jesus? A painting only need one nail to hang"

"shops have changed so much. In my day you could go in with a pound and get a bag of crisp and a magazazine now days they have cameras"

"I was gonna make a gay joke... Butt fuck it."

"Reports say Bernie Sanders found on the mossak fonseca leaked list..... .....he tried to hide thirteen bucks and forty-nine cents."

"""Premature ejaculation man I NEED HELP!!"" I'M COMING!"

"What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership? My newt."

"I like to think I'm pretty smart. I just managed to get a 90 on my iq test."

"Yo girl, are you my email inbox? because there's a lot of stuff you have I'm never going to see"

"I speak 3 languages. Unfortunately no one else in the world speaks 2 of them."

"If gay marriage is wrong, then why did we have four fathers?"