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Joke of the Day

"Sorry I referred to your baby shower as a gift extortion party."

"if the neighbor kid is driving you nuts practicing saxophone you can complain or teach her Careless Whisper - maybe be a problem solver"

"I haven't used the computer in my basement since 1994 because the topless jpg. of Pamela Anderson is still downloading."

"Did you here that Lorena Bobbitt got killed in a car accident? Yeah, some dick cut her off."

"What do Green Eggs and Ham, and Fifty Shades of Gray have in common? They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things."

"I always hear voices when I go for a poo. Shitzophrenia."

"Reddit's telling me not to spoil the Star Wars movie for anyone... ... too bad my fantasies were already spoiled when Disney bought the rights."

"Sorry I wasn't ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found."

"So, I was talking to my friend who runs a scrap yard. I asked how business was... ... He replied: ""pretty good, I've seen a bit of a pickup recently."""

"What's green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table."