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Joke of the Day

"Yes... I retweet. Isn't that kinda the point? Spread the love and shit? Mostly shit... But that's your fault..."

"What's the worst part about being a railroad conductor? The training."

"What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work? Suture self!"

"I believe that every person has a story to tell...which is why I stay at home."

"What's the difference between America and yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture."

"A photon goes to a hotel... He arrives and the clerk says, ""Sir may I take your luggage"" the photon then replies, ""No, I'm traveling light"""

"What happens in a battle between storm troopers and red shirts? (Star Trek) The storm troopers all miss, and the red shirts all die"

"Daisy: how are you Gatsby: great"

"I'm so hungry I could eat this piece of paper. *adds salt to resume*"

"What do you call a vampire in a raincoat ? Mack-u-la !"