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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry I picked up dog poop using your selfie stick."

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns But then he forgot, Toucan play that game"

"What did Freddy Mercury have for breakfast? Bacon and AIDS (I'm so sorry Freddy)"

"July 4th PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers."

"I used that classic Liam Neeson line from Taken the other day: ""I will find you and I will kill you."" My grandkids refuse to play hide and seek with me anymore."

"What's the alien version of Facebook? Spacebook. (It's a terrible joke I know)."

"Love is patient. Love is kind. Love has never been in a relationship apparently."

"Raise the bar ..? Like, go and drink upstairs ..?"

"Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time, too."

"Next year is going to be directed by Hideaki Anno... It'll be 2015+1"