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Joke of the Day

"Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if you name was ""MMMMMMMMMUUUUUUAAAAAAHHHHHHH."""

"Why were the witch and wizard always kissing each other's necks? Because they were neckromancers"

"Besides being an famous chief (despite burning everything he cooked), Adolf Hitler was also a star athlete.... He was the fascist kid on the playground."

"Niagara Falls A guide was showing Niagara-Falls to a man from Texas and said; I'll bet you don't have anything like this in Texas. The Texan said; nope, but in Texas we have plumbers who can fix it."

"Is the subscribed to r/jokes number a joke? I laughed but still. I find it unlikely that a quarter billion people subscribed to r/jokes"

"Why are blowjobs referred to as ""giving head""? ... because it's the only way for women to get ahead in life."

"So I finally got a housekeeper, it's my ex-wife. She kept the house."

"A hungry college student saw a poster reading ""Humanitarians of the World meeting tonight. Free food,"" and decided to attend Upon arrival, he was promptly killed, skewered, roasted, and eaten."

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? An IN-VEST-IGATOR!"

"I'm glad it's the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the shit I should be doing."