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Joke of the Day

"A hungry college student saw a poster reading ""Humanitarians of the World meeting tonight. Free food,"" and decided to attend Upon arrival, he was promptly killed, skewered, roasted, and eaten."

"On Passive-Aggressive Jeopardy, the contestants answer Alex Trebek in the form of rhetorical questions."

"How can you tell an old person from a young person? An old person can sing and brush their teeth at the same time."

"Why did Sean Connery say he quit his mall Santa job? I got tired of all the kids asking to shit on my lap."

"*locks hands with stranger in elevator* im nervous, this is my first time flying"

"I'm excited to announce that I've officially stopped using drugs for fun and solely use them to deal with the unrelenting pain of existence!"

"Farmer What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor"

"Why did the dyslexic, Russian astronomer hate the revolution? He was following the Tsar."

"What do you call a patella that sleeps around too much? Whore knee"

"Potato potato tomato tomato It works better when spoken..."