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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a virgin redneck? A girl that can outrun her brothers."

"What do you call a limp snake? An ereptile dysfunction."

"Friendship Application, Question One: If you see that my selfie has 0 likes, will you like it faster than humanly possible?"

"A kid was born without eye lids, so they used the spare skin from his circumcision to form some. Everything turned out fine, except... the doctor said he was a little cockeyed."

"Does the Five Second Rule apply to gravy?"

"What is brown and sticky? Michael J Fox opening a can of coke"

"Why do we.... Cook bacons and bake cookies?"

"Dating is a lot like fishing Sure, there's plenty of fish in the sea. But until i catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod."

"Tumblr is like junk food They're both filled with trans fat."

"Has anybody tried unplugging Congress and then plugging it back in??"