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Joke of the Day

"Closing time, son ""Huh?"" You don't have to go home but you can't stay here ""But I live here Dad"" *Dad stares at me* Don't forget your Xbox"

"Did you hear about the two gay basketball players? They went head to head."

"""Give me 'bored.' Give me 'late for lunch.' Scowl at a tree. Scowl at a tree. Look at a bird like you hate it."" - book jacket photographers."

"What are Donald Trumps least favorite food? Mexican jumping beans"

"Two astronauts went to a bar on the moon but they left after a few minutes ? You see it had no atmosphere !"

"What does Che Guevara call his house? Chez Guevara"

"Business plan: 1) Spend 20 years mastering karate 2) Teach karate class, so you meet people who don't know karate 3) Rob them"

"What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra."

"Whenever a fast food employee reads my order back to me I always say, ""did you just call me fat?"" They love that."

"I just saw Madonna climb out of a hollowed out tree trunk in the woods near my house."