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Joke of the Day

"Bruce Willis... Bruce Willis will probably keep making action movies. Because, you know what they say about old habits..."

"The Russians official stance on the downed MH17 flight: Donetsk, don't tell."

"Can you run a bath when you have the runs? ... only if you have enough."

"Fun Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, meatless years."

"What travels down an alley and has holes in it? Batman's parents."

"Did you hear about the woman who beat Usain Bolt? Turns out it was race related."

"There was a bad accident involving a funeral procession the other day. It was terrible! The toll was four injured, one dead."

"Important copyright notice Remember, if you sing ""Happy Birthday"" to the Queen, it is still *not* royalty-free."

"[THIS IS NOT THE GENERIC CHICKEN JAYWALKING JOKE] Why did Adele cross the road? To say ""Hello From The Other Side""."

"Did you hear about the blind circumciser? He got the sack"