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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't the soldier feel his legs? Because his arms were blown off."
Next Joke
"Unless you're going to tell me there's a sniper target on me, I can wait for you to finish chewing to hear what you have to say. Thanks."
"Oops! I hate when I pour myself a drink and then have 12 more by accident."
"I cook with wine sometimes I even add it to the food."
"I'm not positive, but I think when you say you're ""over"" something, YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT IT."
"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day Don't teach a man to fish and feed yourself. He's a grown man. And fishing's not that hard."
"You know what really grinds my gears? People who can't drive manual."
"I turned my phone on ""Airplane Mode"" and threw it into the air. Worst transformer ever."
"If I haunt your house after I die and you hear strange noises, I probably just want you to change the TV channel. Please don't ghostbust me."
"What is programmers' favorite wine? [yellow tail]"