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Joke of the Day

"What runs forever and never dies? An argument with a woman! And I'm in one right now."

"You better get out of here before the S.W.A.T. team arrives I just blew up a toilet. Say, did you hear the one about the man with chronic constipation? No? Well, no shit"

"Sweetie, will you buy me a cellphone? **Her**: Sweetie, will you buy me a cellphone? **Him**: What about the other one? **Her**: The other one is buying me a tablet."

"Why can't pirates recite the alphabet? They keep getting lost at sea."

"Dear Mario, I wasted my childhood trying to save your girlfriend :)"

"Love is like a fart If you have to force it, it's most likely shit."

"How many Polish people does it take to be pallbearers at a funeral? Seven. Six to carry the casket and one to drag the body"

"When Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer..it's ""art"" and ""music"". But when I do it...I'm ""wasted"", and ""have to leave Home Depot""."

"What kind of pistol should you use to shoot a bear? The one with the smallest barrel. It hurts the least when the bear shoves it up your ass."

"I like my women like I like my humor, dry."